The diet thing has gotten me so worked up. I can't sleep and thought I'd write instead. I was hungry, so I grabbed some food off the top of the fridge. Very apropos.
Anyway, I feel like I have become the worst version of myself. I am HUGE! Absolutely huge. This isn't a "I gained a pound of water weight I'm so fat" kind of lament, it's "Oh my God I've gained 30 pounds and I look enormous." This started when we moved here for my new job, and Jeff couldn't find a job. We were broke, I was depressed, and I went into what I call "eat for survival" - a we-can't-afford-the-next-meal-so-let's-stuff-ourselves-now kind of thing. I was also diagnosed with depression/anxiety which didn't help things at all. As a first-year teacher, I've always been on-the-go and I always ate the first thing that came to reach. And then the next thing. And then the next thing. You get the picture.
So here I am, 5'3" and 180-190 pounds (haven't weighed myself in a while). I'm sort of inbetween a size 14 and 16. The numbers sort of mean nothing to me, really...it's the fact that now I can't fit my wedding ring on my hand comfortably. Now I'm pissed! This means war.
This summer I've decided to put off college and what-not and have a "me" summer. I have wanted to go kayaking for a year - this is now the time. I have wanted to start a workout routine, I've wanted to create healthy menus and shopping lists and try new foods, become what my husband calls "a hippie" by becoming more eco-friendly, and just do and be spontaneous - go to museums and art exhibits, visit a guy that blows his own glass (WHOA!!), and other zany stuff.
This is going to be the summer of change. Let the journey begin!
Anyway, I feel like I have become the worst version of myself. I am HUGE! Absolutely huge. This isn't a "I gained a pound of water weight I'm so fat" kind of lament, it's "Oh my God I've gained 30 pounds and I look enormous." This started when we moved here for my new job, and Jeff couldn't find a job. We were broke, I was depressed, and I went into what I call "eat for survival" - a we-can't-afford-the-next-meal-so-let's-stuff-ourselves-now kind of thing. I was also diagnosed with depression/anxiety which didn't help things at all. As a first-year teacher, I've always been on-the-go and I always ate the first thing that came to reach. And then the next thing. And then the next thing. You get the picture.
So here I am, 5'3" and 180-190 pounds (haven't weighed myself in a while). I'm sort of inbetween a size 14 and 16. The numbers sort of mean nothing to me, really...it's the fact that now I can't fit my wedding ring on my hand comfortably. Now I'm pissed! This means war.
This summer I've decided to put off college and what-not and have a "me" summer. I have wanted to go kayaking for a year - this is now the time. I have wanted to start a workout routine, I've wanted to create healthy menus and shopping lists and try new foods, become what my husband calls "a hippie" by becoming more eco-friendly, and just do and be spontaneous - go to museums and art exhibits, visit a guy that blows his own glass (WHOA!!), and other zany stuff.
This is going to be the summer of change. Let the journey begin!
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